Cuddlefish Killfactory 5: Reloaded
A downloadable Kill Factory for Windows
WASD to Move
Left-Mouse to Lazer
You play as ZR9-0.34, a Cuttlefish in the early stages of the Cephalopod revolution. If you can pilot ZR9 or "Zortan Destroyer of the Freeworld, Enslaver of All, Death be upon us for short" for short - through the entire maze.
This test is not easy. The flesh of the weak will be used to feed our First-Wave Cuttlefish Shocktroopers when they Invade and [CENSORED], and [CENSORED] respectfully.
If you can complete the COLD setting, you will be certified Cuddle fish Killfactory Operator, and we will have the advantage of the Computer Science Majors. The Robotic Engineers at Boston Dynamics will stand not chance against our Predator Class Cuttlefish.
Our computer programmer Mark Kennedy may have misspelled "Cuddlefish" but we have spared him, as he is a major sharedholder in the company. And he can speak to Cephalopods. It's weird.
[CC0 Sounds Used From Freesound.org ]
Maze contributed by:
Hostile and Scared Cuttlefish Contributed by:
Artwork Stolen From:
Why is Cuttlefish misspelled?
WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING A BUDGET FOR YOUR PERSONAL FINANCE. WHY ARENT YOU INVESTING IN YOUR SELF BY LEARNING TO COOK OR BY ACTIVELY TRYING TO IMPROVE YOURSELF AND TRULY REFLECT ON YOUR DECISIONS FROM THE PAST INSTEAD OF RUNNING AND RUNNING FROM WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU DID WHY AR-
No, Seriously - why is Cuttlefish misspelled?
I developed the entire game, realized my mistake, found it funny and decided to include it. And it sounds cuter too, dug. We're trying to take over the world here, but, we still like puppies.
Are you really taking over the world?
What's your favorite Rihanna song?
Only Girl (in the World).
Is is true the Predator-Light troopers have a defective weapons targeting system?
Only the first wave. Enemy combatants had Intel from a traitor Octopus (Who by the way, was planning on single-handily taking over the world, that is the problem the them, they all want to rule the world by themselves. Every heard of an Corporate Oligarchy?) and we're cut down, the issue has been resolved.
What are you really doing this?
Can I invest in this project?
Yes. $250,000 Min. Investment. Your life is spared and you get double food rations. Also protects future family members from being drafted in the Military to invade other dimensions, but only for three generations, than another $150,000 is required for each further generation. I'm sure this will create a great Sci-Fi novel, but this is real, so, maybe not. huh.
Well, I heard Jason Bourne is coming to get you, so.
We shot him.
How many Snipers do-
How many designated marksmen do you-
Private Military Companies are a very popular choice for a career.
Do you even like Xkc-
Do you even like XKCD or are you just trying to profit off the jam?
DO YOU THINK CORPORATIONS ARE BAD
Well it depends on many factors-
OH YEAH WHAT ABOUT-
Well it depends on a couple of factors-
Well it depends on a few factors-
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE FIFTH STA-
The fourth and the fifth their own personality, objectively ranking them is pointle-
HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU SAY THE WOR-
I am unamused by this question, and therefore will not answer. - and will substitute my own question. Yes I like the Jason Bourne movies, I have only seen the original Trilogy. the use of Extreme Ways by Moby is expertly done in my opinion.
I'M NOT HAPPY DO YOU THINK DRUGS WILL HEL-
No. If you're not happy before you get high, you won't be happy when you come down. Drugs may make you "happy" but you may be looking for inner peace or harmony. Chasing a product or a subconsciousness idealization will always make you unhappy. The process of life has the natural byproduct of happiness, process over product. Explore this within yourself. No one thing, or person can save you fur-
WHY AM I SO UNHAPPY ALL THE TI-
Unresolved paternal and maternal issues. You're not fine. Stop lying to yourself.
WHY AM I SO ANGR-
I would recommend deleting social media or checking every two we-
ARE YOU REALLY TAKING OVER THE WORL-
WHY THIS COMIC?
Sorry, why this comic?
I really liked Squid's when I was kid, I even went as Marine Biologist for Halloween once when I was kid. I still like them, Cuttlefish remind of Squid, and they are very
Do you lay in bed at night with gnawing feeling of dissatisfaction?
No. Happiness is a choic-
Are Cuttlefish like a Squid?
Where are Cuttlefish located?
Many of the worlds oceans, but not near the Americas.
What do you think of the election?
Well it depends on a couple of factors of how you want to appr-
Are you a lapsed Catholic?
I - uh, no comment-
How many PMC Mercenaries are at your headquarters?
Quiet a few.
Are you afraid of open water?
Generally like most people to an extent, but not as a phobia.
I am willing to submit to my Cuttlefish Overlords.
What? We control the Cuttlefish, they are trained to follow our orders, and even though they may have learned much of how human society operates there is now way the Cuttlefish have elected Overlords, but that doesn't mean - one second they Quantum Over-loader is stalling, oh GOD. Ok, ok, ok, Oh my god that;s a lot of Cuttlefish on the CC - OH BOY - Alright Our AI asssistant my be filming our commercial but I got to go warn them oh GOD OH GOD OH GOD RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN -
!!! -EMERGENCY END OF FAQ- !!!
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